Reflections – JUNE MEM

As we come to the end of the month of June, it is such a joy to participate in the Women Of Courage Asia’s Monthly Empowerment Meeting, which happens on every last Tuesday of the month, and coincidentally it is on 30th June 2020, exactly the last day of June, ending my month on an empowering note! With the help of technology, our Monthly Empowerment Meetings (MEM) are made possible, better yet, the meeting was joined with participants from across borders of Singapore.

This month we have with us, Hellen Lie, community leader of Women of Courage Asia, and founder of Rosette Designs & Co. She shares with us what it means to attain the balancing act of a busy mumpreneur in our current society and pace of life. The interplay between Self Development, Relationship and the Work that we do. This is particularly enlightening for me as someone who has to manage the household, my own career, provide support for the community around me, and doing life in general. During her sharing, it has caused me to reflect the lifestyle that I have built over time, identifying the various habits within, and to evaluate what is helpful and what can be replaced. As with most of us, attending to my phone is the first thing I usually do in the morning, which diminishes our productivity by 50%! Hellen has also recommended a book “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, talking about the Habit Loop or Cue, Routine and Reward. This is for those who are keen to learn more about habit formation.

Especially in this time of the pandemic, where balance seems to be something that escapes most of us, and what has become most painfully obvious is that a large part of attaining our individual “balance”, is the importance of personal growth, caring for your own development. Therefore, it has become essential for us to do an honest review of our self in the three areas:

Self
– Do you spend time developing yourself?
– Are you eating well or having adequate rest?

Relationship
– Who do you want to have a better connection with?
– Are we being sensitive to the needs of our loved ones?
– Are we making assumptions of them?
– Do we honour their time or make time for them?
– Pow sharing of what went wrong Wow what you want to celebrate for the day

Work
– How Productive are we actually, in the hours that we put in?
Her lovely daughter has also shared with her and in turn us, a powerful model called “Pow Wow” which basically is to share our day in finding what went wrong (Pow) and what I want to celebrate for the day (Wow). Balanced!

Following Hellen’s sharing, our second speaker was Carol Gockel. She is a Community Leader with Women of Courage Asia, Author, Confidence Coach, Neurolinguistic Trainer and Mother of 2 children.

She brought us her story of courage, “Changing Perception – An Emotional Abuse”. Her story is one that I can identify with – we struggle with expectations from parents and always set a bar for ourselves internally, that we can never fulfil. And we will never be enough.

My low self-confidence, or rather, my almost non-existent self-worth, which resulted in a lot of behaviours that instead of helping me to love myself more, it has caused me to feel an even greater lack and pinpoint areas for “need of improvement”.

Finding companionship in the wrong places, from wrong intention and motivation, has caused me to submit into an abusive relationship, of which I have never thought it was in any way “abusive”.

And so Carol’s Story was one that encouraged me, since it is similar to a journey that I have walked, from a seemingly dark place to where I can finally say that I am acting, drawing from a place of self-love & self-care, has been one of the greatest turning points in my life.
Sure, there are times, I find myself having certain negative thoughts, and battling trust issues with people and in my own capabilities, but thankfully with the community, I have with me, special mention to Women of Courage of Asia, whom those ladies have helped keep me on track whenever I need encouragement, a hard push, or a reminder of the goodness in our lives.

Stories of Courage is one segment that is emotional yet a safe place for our speakers to share their deep dark painful past. They do not come from a victim mindset but that of a Victorious mind where we can see their breakthrough and transformation.

I hope my a small part of my sharing can encourage and empower you to also take a step of courage and come unstuck from your Fears. Let us live our lives with Courage & Significance.

With courage

Sarah Chan
Community Leader